Hamlet Slept HERE: Your Helsingør Castle Hotel Awaits!
Hamlet Slept HERE: Helsingør Castle Hotel – Honestly, It's a JOURNEY. (And Sometimes, a Mess.)
Alright, folks. Let's talk about Hamlet Slept HERE: Your Helsingør Castle Hotel Awaits! Sounds romantic, right? Visions of brooding princes, dramatic soliloquies under the midnight sun… Well, let's just say my experience was a bit less Shakespearean, and a whole lot more, "Where's the Wi-Fi password again?" But hey, that's life, and this review is real.
First Impressions: The Castle-y Bits & the "Oh Dear" Moments
Okay, the location? Stunning. You're literally steps from Kronborg Castle, AKA Elsinore. The air is thick with history, the seagulls squawk their dramatic pronouncements, and you genuinely feel like you've stepped into a postcard. Score one for the hotel. The exterior, grand and imposing, sets the stage beautifully.
But then… the check-in. "Contactless," they said. “Efficient,” they promised. In reality, it was a slightly fraught dance with a QR code that seemed to have a personal vendetta against my phone. And the front desk? Bless them, they were clearly trying. But the "express" check-in? More like "expressly… slowly." I swear I saw a tumbleweed roll past. Eventually, though, I got my key, and finally, I was in.
Accessibility: Sort of… Maybe? (Let's Be Honest)
Alright, this is important. Wheelchair accessible? Hmm. The website says they have "Facilities for disabled guests", but the reality felt a bit… muddled. There were elevators, which was a huge plus, but the hallways felt a little narrow in places. I didn't need a wheelchair, but I could see some potential issues navigating the hotel. The lack of clarity is frankly, infuriating. Call ahead, double-check, and maybe triple-check if accessibility is a priority. I would definitely inquire before booking… seriously, inquire.
The Room: My Own Personal Hamlet-esque Tragedy (of Comfort)
The room itself? Well, it was… a room. The Wi-Fi [free] actually worked, unlike the initial check-in chaos, a HUGE win. Free bottled water was a lovely touch. The air conditioning did blast out some cool air, welcome after a long day. And the blackout curtains were, my god, a godsend. Seriously, if you’re bothered by the sun, these are your saviors. The bed? Comfy enough. The satellite/cable channels provided something to watch, even if I was mostly just flipping through the endless amount of German news channels.
Now, the "less glamorous" bits. The decor was… tired. Think "early 2000s hotel chic." The carpet felt a bit worn, and the closet honestly could have used a good declutter. The bathroom was functional, with a separate shower/bathtub, a necessity. The toiletries? Standard hotel fare. The hair dryer was in the room, a sigh of relief! But… there was no mirror near the plug, so if you have a bad hair day, you're gonna have a bad hair day.
Let's also acknowledge the presence of a smoke detector and a smoke alarm. I mean, safety first…always.
Food & Drink: Fueling the Existential Dread (in a Good Way)
Alright, the food situation was a mixed bag. Breakfast [buffet]: I went for the Western breakfast, which was… okay. The coffee/tea in restaurant wasn’t amazing, but I've certainly had worse. The Asian breakfast and cuisine weren’t a thing here. They did offer a Breakfast takeaway service as well!
The Restaurants themselves were pretty decent. The Bar was a nice place to decompress after tramping around the castle. The Poolside bar however…wasn't a pool. I’m telling you now, that’s gotta be a mistake. Anyway, the Coffee shop was great.
**The *Dining, drinking, and snacking category's* biggest win was the bottle of water. This should have been available everywhere.
Things to do, ways to relax (or try to): A Spa-tial Odyssey
Okay, the "spa/sauna" experience was pretty good: I went for the Sauna, Steamroom, and Pool with view: the views were worth it!. The Fitness center was… there. I took a brief glance through the window, then decided my "exercise" for the day was enough wandering around the castle. They did have some options for massage, Body scrub, Body wrap.
The Pool [outdoor] looked inviting, but the weather wasn't cooperating. Oh well.
Cleanliness and Safety: A Focus on the Essentials
Daily disinfection in common areas: Check. Hand sanitizer: Check. Staff trained in safety protocol: Seemed like it. The hotel’s efforts here were definitely appreciated. They had individually-wrapped food options… which, again, made me think, "Where's the buffet?!" They had CCTV in common areas and outside the property as well. They also had a fire extinguisher. All good stuff.
However, I can’t speak to the effectiveness of the Anti-viral cleaning products or the Professional-grade sanitizing services.
Services and Conveniences: The "Nice to Haves" and the "Where Is It?"
They had the usual suspects: Daily housekeeping was efficient. The Laundry service was useful. A Concierge was available, but I didn’t really need any concierge-type services. The hotel also had a Convenience store, but I was too tired to bother.
And let's just say the presence of a shrine was…intriguing. Never actually found it, though.
Getting Around: The Castle and Beyond
Car park [free of charge]: Bonus! Airport transfer: Unavailable. Taxi service: Available. They also had Bicycle parking. Very Danish, indeed.
For the Kids: A Family Affair
Okay, they describe themselves as Family/child friendly. They have a Babysitting service in theory. But I didn’t see any Kid's facilities myself, and I can't comment on the quality of the Kids meal.
In Summary: Would I Go Back?
Look, Hamlet Slept HERE is far from perfect. The decor might be a bit dated, and the details aren't always top-notch. The accessibility is a little unclear. The staff, while lovely, sometimes seemed a tad overwhelmed.
But the location… the sheer proximity to Kronborg Castle…that's the selling point. That's the magic. The ability to walk out the door and breathe in the history of Hamlet? That’s worth the price of admission. And, realistically, the hotel itself serves its purpose. It's a decent place to rest your head after a day of exploring a genuinely amazing place.
So, would I go back? Probably. With a slightly lowered expectation for perfection and a very clear checklist for the things I need to know beforehand. And with a renewed appreciation for the power of blackout curtains. Because, let's be honest, in a place like Elsinore, you might just need them to hide from the existential dread.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your glossy travel brochure. This is me, planning a potential disaster… I mean, trip… to Hotel Hamlet in Helsingør, Denmark. Let's see if I can even get there without accidentally booking a one-way ticket to, say, the moon.
Hotel Hamlet Helsingør: My Danish Dream (or Nightmare!) - Tentative Itinerary
Phase 1: The Pre-Trip Panic (aka, the "Should I Even Bother?" Phase)
- Weeks Before (and maybe even right now, judging by the anxiety level)
- Flights: Okay, so Ryanair and I have a complicated history. Let's just say my luggage and I have seen more of Europe than Shakespeare. Thinking… SAS? They seem… less terrifying. Note to self: learn to convert currency before hitting "Buy." I once accidentally ordered a lifetime supply of artisanal toothpicks. Don't ask.
- Hotel Hamlet Booking: Fingers crossed! The website claims there are rooms. I'm seeing a cozy room, the kind of place that makes you feel like a character in a historical drama. Or, you know, a slightly damp one. Check booking policies twice. Cancellations make me nervous ever since I was charged for a hotel room in… wait, where was it? Oh yeah, it was never booked!
- Research: "Is this place haunted?" is absolutely in the top ten of my google searches. Also, "Best Smørrebrød (Danish open-faced sandwiches) near Helsingør." Because, priorities! Okay, now, the more important part is if I want to stay more than 2 days.
- Packing: My current system involves throwing everything I own into a suitcase and hoping for the best. Expect a wardrobe malfunction or two. My record so far is wearing mismatched socks for three days straight.
- Anxiety: Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat. Okay, deep breath, let's get this going.
- Phone calls to friends: Telling them about this trip and hearing them laughing because they were so excited about it. It's exciting, it's scary, it's everything, and I love it!
Phase 2: Touchdown! (Or, the "Did I Actually Make It?" Phase)
Day 1: The Grand Arrival (and potential jet lag mayhem)
- Arrival at Copenhagen Airport (CPH): Pray for a smooth landing. I once landed on a runway that was apparently the "Wrong" runway. Did I mention I am bad with directions? Okay, I'm already picturing myself stumbling off the plane, looking like a dishevelled Viking (minus the beard and the awesome boat).
- Transportation to Helsingør: Train, I think? I'm a sucker for a good train ride, even if I spend half of it staring out the window, convinced I'm going the wrong way. Note to self: learn basic Danish phrases. "Where's the bathroom?" should be top of the list.
- Check-in at Hotel Hamlet: The moment of truth! Will my reservation actually exist? Will the room resemble anything I saw online? (Okay, let's be real, I'm expecting "a bit" different) I probably won't be sure if the room is haunted until midnight.
- Afternoon: "Exploration" of Helsingør. Wandering the streets for a bit, getting slightly lost, admiring the colorful townhouses. Maybe a cheeky gelato. *Must find Kronborg Castle (Hamlet's castle!). But probably not *first* thing. Need a nap first.*
- Evening: First taste of Danish food! The search for the best Smørrebrød begins! Try a proper restaurant and maybe learn how to pronounce "Smørrebrød" without sounding like a dying cat. Maybe a Carlsberg. Or two. Because, vacation.
Day 2: Hamlet! (And Castle Fever)
- Morning: Kronborg Castle! The main event! I'm going to get lost in the history of it, probably imagining Shakespeare himself wandering those halls. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for a good castle.
- Afternoon: Spend way too long wandering around the castle grounds, taking a million photos, and probably getting slightly sunburned. Must. Find. The Ghost of Hamlet's father. (Just kidding… mostly).
- Evening: Trying a new restaurant, hopefully something a little less touristy, unless it's really, really good touristy. Might even brave a pub. Wonder what the locals are like. Maybe they're all secretly plotting to overthrow the government. (Just kidding… probably).
Day 3: Day trip? (Or, the "Time to Go Home…?" Phase)
- Morning: If I survive Day 2, it's going to be a day trip. Maybe a nearby town? Train tickets for the win.
- Afternoon: The "I'm-still-not-ready-to-go-home" activities begins. More exploration, more food, more photos, maybe some souvenir shopping (if I can find anything that isn't a tacky Hamlet-themed item).
- Evening: Last night in Helsingør! A melancholy dinner. One final Smørrebrød. One last beer. Maybe I'll even cry a little. It would be weird not to I suppose. Must spend the evening alone. Thinking about this whole adventure, if it was my fault. It can never be fully my fault. (It's probably my fault).
Phase 3: The Post-Trip Blues (and the inevitable "I'll-do-it-again" phase)
- Departure: Another train ride. Goodbye, Helsingør! I'll probably be sleep-deprived, slightly hungover, and already planning my return trip.
- Back Home: Unpack. Wash clothes. Go back to reality. Spend the next few weeks reliving every single moment. Post photos. Tell the world about all the amazing, and probably embarrassing, things I did. Curse the fact that I have to go back to work, but wouldn't change a thing.
Important Considerations (and, you know, the small details)
- Weather: It's Denmark. Expect rain. Pack accordingly. (Waterproof mascara is a must).
- Language: English is widely spoken, but I'll try to learn a few phrases. Mostly "Where's the beer?"
- Money: Learn the exchange rate. Don't buy the artisanal toothpicks.
- The "What if I get lost?!" factor: Highly likely. Embrace it. It's part of the adventure.
This itinerary is subject to change. It's probably already changed. But hey, that's the fun, right? Now to just figure out how to avoid getting arrested, or eaten by a Viking. Wish me luck!
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Okay, seriously, is this place... *actually* in Elsinore Castle? Like, *THE* Elsinore?
Alright, deep breaths. Yes. Kind of. Look, it's *within* the castle grounds. Picture this: you're walking around, marvelling at the ramparts, imagining Hamlet (or, you know, *a* Hamlet – there have been a few, bless 'em) brooding, and BAM, there's the hotel. Think of it as… a very well-placed, historically significant addition. It's not *inside* the actual crumbling medieval bits, thankfully for the plumbing's sake. But you’re practically breathing the same air as the ghosts. (Probably… I didn’t *see* any, but let's be real, the atmosphere is thick enough to carve a slice of existential angst.)
Bonus Rambling: I actually heard a tour guide (bless his heart, sounded like he'd done this a thousand times) say, with a slight eye roll, "Yes, *Hamlet's* Elsinore. The one Shakespeare wrote about. So, yes." Made me chuckle. He'd probably heard the question a million times.
Is it… fancy? Like, do I need a monocle and a trust fund?
Fancy? Ehhh… it's elegant, *yes*. Historic, absolutely. Like, *very* historic - the wood panelling alone looks like it's seen a few centuries pass. But trust fund? Nah. Certainly not your budget-backpackers' hostel, but I found the prices…surprisingly reasonable considering the location. Think more "charming boutique hotel that clearly takes its history seriously" than "Versailles on the Sound". I wore a blazer, just in case (look, I *try* to fit in!). But honestly? Jeans would've been fine.
Anecdote Alert: I remember wandering into the bar after a long day of castle-ing. I was slightly frazzled (directions are *hard* in those old towns!), and ordered a beer. The bartender, a lovely woman, looked at me, smiled, and said, "You need a *proper* drink, dear. Something to calm the nerves." She made me the best damn Old Fashioned I've ever had. So, yeah, not *too* stuffy.
What kind of rooms are we talking about? Are we sleeping in dungeons? (Please say no.)
Dungeons? Good grief, no! Unless you *specifically* request "Hamlet's Cellar of Despair," which… I doubt they have. The rooms are quite lovely! Honestly, really well done. The decor has an old-world vibe, obviously. Think heavy drapes, maybe a four-poster bed (depending on the room), and a definite sense that you're not in your usual Holiday Inn. My room had a view of, you guessed it, the castle. (Worth it, by the way. Totally worth it.)
Imperfect Moment: One minor gripe - the walls are *thick*. Which is great for privacy, but also seemed to suck the WiFi signal dry. So prepare to unplug a bit. Which... maybe that's a good thing. Embrace the history, people!
The food… what's the food like? Is it all, you know, "ye olde" everything?
The food... alright, this is where things get *really* good. "Ye olde" isn't quite the vibe. They serve modern Danish cuisine with a strong emphasis on fresh, local ingredients. Think beautifully presented dishes, fantastic seafood (you're near the sea, duh!), and seriously good bread. Not necessarily "authentic banquet" style, but a much more sophisticated experience.
Doubling Down: The breakfast! Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, I almost missed my train because I was still lingering over the smørrebrød and the perfectly brewed coffee. The buffet was a masterpiece of deliciousness. I'm not even a huge breakfast person, but this? This was worth getting out of bed for. I'm still dreaming about that rye bread with smoked salmon. Maybe I'll book a trip back just for breakfast. Don't judge.
Is it haunted? Be honest. I'm easily spooked.
*Haunted*? Look, the fact that it's *next to* a castle where a play about ghosts and revenge was set means… well, it *could* be. I didn't see a ghost. I didn't *feel* a ghost (though, admittedly, I was a little sleep-deprived from all the exploring). But the atmosphere? Let's say it's ripe for potential spectral encounters. If you're REALLY nervous, maybe ask for a room on a lower floor. Just in case.
Quirky observation: I spent a solid hour one evening just staring at the walls, listening for… well, anything. All I heard was the distant clinking of glasses from the bar and the faint sound of the wind whistling through the ramparts. Slightly disappointing, honestly. I was ready for a ghost story!
Okay, so... Should I book it?
Look… YES. Absolutely, without a doubt, you *should* book it. If you like history, have even a passing interest in Shakespeare, or just appreciate a uniquely charming hotel experience, Hamlet Slept HERE is a winner. It’s not perfect (no place is!), but it's an investment. A memorable one. The location alone is worth it, but the hotel itself is lovely.
Strong emotional reaction: I'd go back in a heartbeat. Seriously. I'm already checking flight prices. Don't hesitate – just book it! Before *I* book it again and there's no space. My only regret? Not staying longer. Go. Experience it. And then tell me what you thought. Because I need to relive it vicariously. The memory is almost as good, even if you don't see a ghost.
